I know that ultimately I have to decide what's best for my baby, but I would love to hear what experienced moms have to say about my questions regarding sleep!
-How old before you let your baby fall asleep on his/her own?
-Did this mean your baby cried him/herself to sleep? How long did you let him/her cry?
-How frequently and how long did your baby nap during the day at one month old?
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I remember those nights ... I have a book about helping babies sleep - let me know if you want to borrow it. I read other things as well. As with all things having to do with a baby, take it with a grain of salt and see what works best for you and your family. Also, remember, it doesn't last forever (even though it feels like it does!). We did the cry it out method. It took few days, but it worked. Each night felt like an eternity of crying, but it was probably less than an hour. The key was making sure they were fed, changed and comfortable (aside from being alone). It can be hard, but it's worth it. By about two months, both kids were falling asleep on their own.
ReplyDeleteRead "Babywise" and use what you feel comfortable with. Basically, they need to be in a good routine, which I didn't start until around 3 months or so when they were a bit "heartier" of babies. Anyways, they should have a EAT, PLAY/WAKE, SLEEP cycle. Keeping things in that order (although, I'd sometimes nurse my babies to sleep at night - they'd just be so tired) and cutting out any PLAY time at night, you'll be a happy mom. I swear this works and usually by 9 months they're sleeping through the night - earlier if you're lucky :) I bet the library has that book - Babywise by Gary Ezzo (sp?). Take care!
ReplyDeleteAllison,
ReplyDeleteI am feeling so much for you right now! I don't have any advice because my oldest was exactly how you're describing your baby. He didn't sleep unless he was sleeping right next to us or in his swing. So during the day I let him sleep in the swing and at night I brought him in bed with us, just so I could get more than an hour of sleep at a time. I did this for six months! If I had another baby that did this I would do things so much differently but at the time I didn't know any better. Good Luck, I hope that you can find something that works for you.
I waited till all the kids were 6 months old before I did the cry it out thing (kate was about 9 months, I waited because she had breathing issues, otherwise I would have done 6 months). My dr. said that at 6 months they were old enough to go without nursing them during hte night. It's hard to just let them cry, but it really only takes a few days and then it's done. The first night is rough...it was maybe an hour, the next night it was less, and the next night even less. I think by 4 or 5 nights they were done. They only cried for a minute when going to bed, then no crying at all. It's SO hard, but totally worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have been doing the babywise method ever since Karlee was born and she has already slept a couple nights all the way through, and she only wakes up once during the night between 3:30-5:00. I try really hard during the day to let her fuss and cry a little when I put her down for a nap, so she can get herself to fall asleep, instead of always having to assist her. Like Dahlia said you do a feed/wake/sleep cycle during the day, and then when its the night feeding you feed/sleep. Good luck and if you have any other questions or want to talk let me know!
ReplyDeleteI can attest that Kristen's method works. She told me about it when Natalie was 9 months old. I did it that night and she's been sleeping awesome ever since.
ReplyDeleteI once saw on Dr. Phil (I know, who watches him anymore) that babies need to get into a good sleeping rutine before they're a year old. Otherwise it's super hard to break. So you have plenty of time.
I was bad when Natalie was really small. She slept with me for the first 3 months. I thought I had ruined her. I kicked her out of our bed on Christmas Eve. Nice, hugh. For her she was ready and it went over well.
Every baby is so different. Try not to pay attention to what society says is the right thing to do. Don't feel guilty, just do whatever you feel you need to do to get a bit of sleep and be able to function. I know I got caught up in worrying about if I was doing what I was "supposed" to do. Then I realized that Mommy knows best, and went with that.
Wish you well! Good Luck!
Payt was a TERRIBLE sleeper when he was little. I started letting him cry it out at 11 weeks, much to some people's dismay...but it was that or I was going to go crazy. I do crying it out kind of differently from others, though:
ReplyDeleteMy mother in law told me to put them to bed, let them cry five mins, go in (do not pick them up), comfort for 30 secs (I literally counted to 30 in my head): give paci, pat them, turn music on etc., then leave. Let them cry for 10 mins, repeat patting process, leave; let them cry for 15 mins, repeat comfort process, leave; etc., etc., etc. I honestly could never bring myself to let him cry for more than 20 mins at a time without going in. But he also never went more than the first round of 20 mins before falling asleep. I just didn't want him to feel like I'd abandoned him so that's why I would check on him in increasing intervals, and for us it worked.
Within a week he was sleeping longer at night because he knew how to comfort himself. Before the cry it out he LITERALLY woke up every 45 minutes; I was then able to stretch him to 4 hours between feedings at night, and eventually he started going even longer than that.
I totally feel your pain, Alison. I would just cry and cry with Payt and got so depressed. He was a rough baby, but it is worth it...and it doesn't seem so bad looking back! Dr. Reynolds once told me, "I like moms having a hard baby the first time around because they don't know anything different. It's those who have an easy baby and then a hard baby that are even worse off."
Hang in there, Mama!